MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!

Watch the clip an then I'll explain.

For a few years now I have been talking about racing cows. You see, I have always wanted a cow that I could train to ride. I don't know what it is, I just think cows are cool. Not the evil cows that I have described in previous post, but real trained riding cows. I've wanted one for a long time, a cow exactly like this one, I would name him Fiddle Dee Dee. Fiddle for short. Up until now everyone scoffed at me, saying that it was a silly dream, "cows are not meant to be ridden, jumped, or raced!" they would say. But I am here to tell you my friends, DREAMS DO COME TRUE! 

The only thing left to do now is fly to Germany, buy a nice jumping cow, fly him back to America, and begin training. Get ready world, cow racing is about to take you by storm!   

'Do you want extra cheesy with that?' A Poem.

Roses are red.

Be my Honey Bear?

 Apples are blue.

Pigs really can fly.

And Chuch Norris can too!

Hi!

"Wanna be friends?"

What About Pants?

Ever seen one of these? Of course you have! Almost every establishment you walk into has one posted by their door. But didn't they forget one thing??? Like, uh, let me see... Pants? I was thinking the other day about what would happen if you walked into Mc Donald's  or somewhere fully clothed, except for pants. What would the guy behind the counter say?

Guy behind counter: excuse me sir or madam, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

You: Why?

Guy behind counter: Well, uh... because you have no pants.

You: Is that a problem?

Guy behind counter: Well, yes it is. Can you please leave?

You: No sir, show me a sign that says no pants, upon seeing this I will leave.

Guy behind counter: Uh, we don't have a sign that says that...

You: Really? Hmm, that's too bad.
Guy behind counter: *Looks down in shame*
I dare somebody to do this!

Barbie Girl

If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends???



Crashed Party...

I've just recently noticed something. A pattern, if you will. You see, I occasionally enjoy a little bit of wild and crazy dancing when I'm listening to the radio and no one's around. It's not as if I'm doing anyone any harm, just a little break dancing here and there. Don't go thinking that I'm good at it. Not at all, I've made many of small children cry by showing them my moves. It's just something that comes naturally. I don't think that it's anything to be judged by do you? I didn't think so. Why am I telling you this? Well, lately my sessions have been cut short by onlookers. Example A: The UPS guy. This happened a while ago when I was dancing in front of our glass door. I believe the song was 'Old Time Rock and Roll' by Bob Seger. I had pulled out all of the stops, I even had an imaginary microphone which I was singing into extremely loudly... I was really feelin' it. I happened to see out of the corner of me eye a large figure standing at my door. Upon further examination I could see that the figure was a UPS guy... who was laughing. I'll admit that maybe if the music hadn't been so loud I could have probably heard the guy knock, but what kind of fun would that have been? Example B: My father. So the day of this little incident I was in more of a romantic mood. Adele had come on the radio with 'Someone Like You' one of my favorite songs. My imaginary partner and I were tearing up the floor with a majestic waltz. At the end of our number I noticed my father had gotten home earlier than expected. So of course I demanded what he was doing there, to which he replied with a snicker. Example C: My mother. I was standing at the counter making a salad, I think, when the last offence occurred. so I'm not exactly sure of the tune, but I think it may have been 'Pumped Up Kicks' by Foster the People. To this song I was busting some of my best MJ moves. Yeah, that's right. My mother was so lovely as to walk up behind me and comment on them... I acted as if nothing had happened. Soooo, the moral of this story is...