10 Awesome Street Signs!

I'm not in an especially creative mood, so I thought I make you look at some signs...

Yuup. Have a blue apple kind of day
-Diamond

11-11-11!

Happy 11-11-11!!!
Today is a very special day, this won't happen again for another thousand years. Think of how special we all are, to be alive and witness this special event!
We're having a part to celebrate and at 11:11 pm we're going to put off fire works.
I'm sure something crazy will happen, so stay tuned for the follow up ;oD!
Hope you have a special day!

Say hello to my little friend

Mr. Cuddles loves you thiiiiiis much...

But only when you're clicking the follow button or commenting, otherwise you mean nothing to him.

My Epic Safari Adventure...

Ok so....

My mom and I went to this place called Harmony Park Safari a couple of weeks ago. It was one of the best experiences OF. MY. LIFE. (that might be a slight dramatization) 

They take really great care of the animals and it gives people a great chance to view these amazing animals in their natural habitat. I filmed almost the whole thing which resulted in an almost 30 minute film so I picked a few of my favorite clips and did a horrible job editing them for your viewing pleasure.

Just a quick note:

This clip contains me getting extremely excited over little animals, I am not normally this high pitch or crazy (ok, maybe I'm a little crazy).  This was also my first time making a video.

Please enjoy.



There is alot of stuff I didn't include, like a buffalo sticking his head in the window and almost crushing my hand, just because I didn't think you could sit through that much screaming. (I get really excited over buffalo!!!)
So.... Yeah, hope you enjoyed that.

A Lazy, Yet Incredibly Cute Post...



43% cuter  than laughing babys.

You meh bestest friend foweva.



I promise, I really do have a great story about my hilarous life that I'm sure you can't wait to hear... It's coming... I'm just a little lazy right now.

...And so for now I leave you with this picture of a very confused man. 





This monkey thinks your face looks funny.

Ha Ha!
Your face!

Brussel Sprouts: Why all the hate???

So I was having dinner the other day, enjoying some brussel sprouts that I had previously steamed, when my mind began to wonder...
Why are brussel sprouts such a hated veggie???

I hate you!!!

Why?  I mean they don't really taste bad, and as far as vegetables go, I think they're pretty cute. So my question stands. Why all the hate? Adults and children alike will go to great lengths to avoid them and even the dog, Sparky, refuses to eat them under the table. Is it because of the roundness? that doesn't make any sense, people usually love round food. Color? Now, this could explain something for the 2nd most hated vegetable, broccoli. But I don't see why that should be a problem, I think green is a very friendly color. So that only leaves one thing: taste. I personally don't see a problem here, they taste like butter and salt... Or maybe that's just when my family makes them.... But still, even under the pound of butter, I find them a very charming little vegetable. 
So leave me a comment telling me if you like brussel sprouts, if not why, and other love/ hate relationships you have with vegetables...

'Peaches' By the presidents of the united states

Yup.

I couldn't get this song out of my head today, and the video has everything that you could ever ask for... A bald guy dressed like a banana, ninjas, and most importantly... PEACHES!



Soooo how was that omelette this morning?

"jimmy, answer me!!!
Please!"

I'm Contused!!!

So let me start by welcoming myself back, I took a bit of a break from blogger for a few weeks, I have a really good excuse though! Hold on.... it's coming, just give me a minute.... Uh..... Ok so I don't have a good excuse, time just got away from me. So enough of this lets get on to the really witty and interesting story I want tell you. (Witty and interesting are in the eyes of the beholder right?)
So lets start off with a few fun facts
FACT:Lifting a large T.V. when you are at home alone and no one is there to help you falls under the "Bad idea" category.
Fact: Dropping a T.V. on top of your foot is EXTREMELY painful.
MEDICAL FACT:A bone contusion is an injury that involves injury to the surface of the bone and subsequent damage to the underlying bone sub-structure. 
Yep, I got a contusion yesterday. "So what were you doing lifting a large television by yourself?" I can hear you asking your computer screen. Well, the idea didn't seem this stupid at the time. Actually, it seemed like a pretty good idea. The reason I wanted to move the T.V. is because I had two in my room and the big chunky one was just taking up space. There was plenty of room on one of the shelves in my bathroom closet so I thought "Why not?" and began the process of carrying it in there. At first it didn't seem like it was going to be that hard, but by the time that I was half way to the bathroom I realized that I was mistaken. See, the T.V. isn't only heavy, it's an awkward shape which makes it hard to hold on to. So I began to do some kind of awkward run in order to try and make it into the bathroom. I did indeed make it into the bathroom, but just barely before dropping the T.V. on top of my foot. It was the kind of pain, dear reader, that for about 5 seconds I felt nothing; then this blinding throb sets in. I had to lift the T.V. back up to get my foot out, which somehow made it hurt worse. So to make a short story long, I went to the hospital to have it checked out ( may I add that I fought tooth and nail, I simply detest hospitals). they took the x-ray and determined that my bone was not completely broken, but contused. So they gave me some very strong pain medication (That's a whole other story), rapped my foot, stuck it in some kind of horrible looking boot/cast thingy, and sent me on my way.
And that's the story of how I gave my own foot a contusion.
Please enjoy the following picture.

    

MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!

Watch the clip an then I'll explain.

For a few years now I have been talking about racing cows. You see, I have always wanted a cow that I could train to ride. I don't know what it is, I just think cows are cool. Not the evil cows that I have described in previous post, but real trained riding cows. I've wanted one for a long time, a cow exactly like this one, I would name him Fiddle Dee Dee. Fiddle for short. Up until now everyone scoffed at me, saying that it was a silly dream, "cows are not meant to be ridden, jumped, or raced!" they would say. But I am here to tell you my friends, DREAMS DO COME TRUE! 

The only thing left to do now is fly to Germany, buy a nice jumping cow, fly him back to America, and begin training. Get ready world, cow racing is about to take you by storm!   

'Do you want extra cheesy with that?' A Poem.

Roses are red.

Be my Honey Bear?

 Apples are blue.

Pigs really can fly.

And Chuch Norris can too!

Hi!

"Wanna be friends?"

What About Pants?

Ever seen one of these? Of course you have! Almost every establishment you walk into has one posted by their door. But didn't they forget one thing??? Like, uh, let me see... Pants? I was thinking the other day about what would happen if you walked into Mc Donald's  or somewhere fully clothed, except for pants. What would the guy behind the counter say?

Guy behind counter: excuse me sir or madam, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

You: Why?

Guy behind counter: Well, uh... because you have no pants.

You: Is that a problem?

Guy behind counter: Well, yes it is. Can you please leave?

You: No sir, show me a sign that says no pants, upon seeing this I will leave.

Guy behind counter: Uh, we don't have a sign that says that...

You: Really? Hmm, that's too bad.
Guy behind counter: *Looks down in shame*
I dare somebody to do this!

Barbie Girl

If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends???



Crashed Party...

I've just recently noticed something. A pattern, if you will. You see, I occasionally enjoy a little bit of wild and crazy dancing when I'm listening to the radio and no one's around. It's not as if I'm doing anyone any harm, just a little break dancing here and there. Don't go thinking that I'm good at it. Not at all, I've made many of small children cry by showing them my moves. It's just something that comes naturally. I don't think that it's anything to be judged by do you? I didn't think so. Why am I telling you this? Well, lately my sessions have been cut short by onlookers. Example A: The UPS guy. This happened a while ago when I was dancing in front of our glass door. I believe the song was 'Old Time Rock and Roll' by Bob Seger. I had pulled out all of the stops, I even had an imaginary microphone which I was singing into extremely loudly... I was really feelin' it. I happened to see out of the corner of me eye a large figure standing at my door. Upon further examination I could see that the figure was a UPS guy... who was laughing. I'll admit that maybe if the music hadn't been so loud I could have probably heard the guy knock, but what kind of fun would that have been? Example B: My father. So the day of this little incident I was in more of a romantic mood. Adele had come on the radio with 'Someone Like You' one of my favorite songs. My imaginary partner and I were tearing up the floor with a majestic waltz. At the end of our number I noticed my father had gotten home earlier than expected. So of course I demanded what he was doing there, to which he replied with a snicker. Example C: My mother. I was standing at the counter making a salad, I think, when the last offence occurred. so I'm not exactly sure of the tune, but I think it may have been 'Pumped Up Kicks' by Foster the People. To this song I was busting some of my best MJ moves. Yeah, that's right. My mother was so lovely as to walk up behind me and comment on them... I acted as if nothing had happened. Soooo, the moral of this story is... 

          

Yeah, what IS it?

"What's a Bieber?"

THIS IS, MY LITTLE FRIEND.




 

Udder Fail...

I would just like to point out that every detail in this story is udderly true.



The face of death.

Soo, bet you've already guessed the topic of this story by now...

Yes, it is indeed a Cow Tale.

A few weeks ago my mom's garden was not doing so well, over the years she has learned through books and experience that cow manure is one the best fertilizers that there is for plants. Since we live near a large pasture with some cows in it, she asked if I would go and gather some dried "Fertilizer". Before we go any further, let me explain a little better the cows and their pasture to you. The cows themselves look peaceful enough at first glance, but further examination will tell you otherwise. Apparently mother cows are extremely protective of their young, and bulls are extremely protective of their herd. The pasture, you see, is only accessible by fence jumping on my side...

So, on the day of the event I had waken up early to help my mom in the yard. Upon examining some of the plants my mother determined that some were dying. She then informed me that I was to "Jump the fence and get some of the dried cow patty's, so we can spread it in the garden." When told that I very much wished NOT to jump the fence and  gather cow manure, she assured me that "Those cows are not going to hurt you, now hurry up go over there!" I waited awhile until I felt sure that they were on the other side of their field. And so armed with a plastic bag and a 4 inch shovel that was not intended for that use, I marched over to the fence. Now let me again pause a moment to tell you dear reader of this post, that this fence is practically covered by shrubs, trees, and vines. It would have been far too easy if it were cleared of these obstacles. So, finding a good place that was practically cleared of shrubbery and making sure once more that the cows were far off munching happily on their grass, I gathered my strength and hopped over the fence. Plastic bag and tiny shovel in hand. I then proceeded to try and find some "cow patty's" while my dear mother, conveniently on the other side of the fence, laughed hysterically. I soon became too occupied in my task to realize that the cows had noticed their intruder. As I was not-so-happily searching away the cow army, led by their leader (a large and terrifying bull), was advancing. By the time I looked up they were extremely near. With my bag not having a sufficient enough amount of manure, I was told not to worry about them and to continue in my task. But I couldn't, not with a army of four legged worriers advancing! I picked up my large white bag and began to walk calmly back to the fence (that was when I still had my dignity). When I did this they began to quicken their pace to a terrifying speed (what would a story about cows be without a high-speed chase?). Soon I began to run, the enemy fast approaching, trying to find the gap in the shrubbery through with I had came. Alas, dear reader, I could not find this gap. I threw the tiny shovel and bag on the ground and made a mad leap through the thicket and pulled myself over the fence. Safely on the other side I had not time to access mortal damage when I was reminded that I had left the bag and shovel on the other side. I got down on my hands and knees and reached my hand under the fence (I refused to go back into enemy territory). Slowly I pulled the bag and tiny shovel through the little hole. I had achieved my mission! In the end I had only a few scrapes and scratches and a bag of cow poop to show for my brave heroism, but I shall forever more remember that day as the day I laughed in the face of certain death!

Ps.

What do you call a cow with a missing leg?

Lean Beef!    

THIS JUST IN!!!

ENERGIZER BUNNY WAS ARRESTED LATE YESTERDAY EVENING: CHARGED WITH BATTERY.

BUNNY'S EVERYWHERE ARE ASHAMED.

10 fun things to do with people over 90!

1. Give them a mohawk (provided there's any hair left).
2. Make a music video.
3. Get gold dentures
4. Teach them how to play Angry Birds.
5. Get matching tattoos.
6. Take a kickboxing class together.
7. Ride through Wal-Mart on those little scooter things yelling "the British  are coming, the British are coming!"
8. Knit T-shirts with your faces on them.
9. Fill up water balloons and drop them on people from a third story building.
10. Teach them how to 'dougie'.

Change: a funny thing

I can remember when I was little, like 3 or 4, telling my mom and one of her friends that I wanted a merry-go-round with only one horse on it.

When I was asked "Why?" I simply replied "so that I can always win the race!" This was followed by some hysterical laughing, provided by my mom and her friend. You see, back then the merry-go-round was one of my favorite things (It still is, but lets just keep that between you and me). I can remember watching the horses in front of me so closely and urging my worthy steed on to faster speeds. Sometimes I was carried to victory, sometimes the blue-tailed horse with the fat kid riding him won. Either way I always Knew that one day I would win every single race because when I grew up I would have my absolutely very own merry-go-round! obviously things change and I grew up to want real horses instead, I've been riding since I was 5 and got my first pony for my 7th birthday (his name was Scooby aka the "pony From hell") I've moved on to big horses now and ride every day. But I was just thinking, as I always tend to do, that what if I had never out grown the merry-go-round and never started riding horses that actually breathe? What if I still went to the mall every week and elbowed all the 5 year olds out of the way to be the one to get to mr. Sprinkles first? What if I had become an imaginary world class merry-go-round jockey? Man, my life would be so different right now. 
I know that sometimes change is unwanted, but for the most part it's necessary.
I mean, would You want to be a professional merry-go-round Jockey? 

What do YOU think?

So, I've been pondering this for quite some time now and I was wondering if you could answer my question:
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too???

...THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW!!!!!!

First Post!!!

S0, For my first post I will do no more than simply introduce myself. I am "Diamond in the Ruff" and I've been a blogger for a little over a year, I have another blog completely dedicated to one of my greatest passions in life- horses. I love the blog and I love my horses, it's just that I thought it time that I should start a blog that lets a little more of myself shine through! This blog should contain random little thoughts that pop into my head, the occasional story about my crazy life, and mild hilarity.
Thanks for reading, hope your like the blog, don't forget to comment!!!!!!!!!